I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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