sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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