Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Randomize
