So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
