in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm passing your future prison.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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