i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
