guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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