Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize