these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My breasts were aching with rage.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
