yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
