careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I need to stop coming to work sober
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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