laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
