just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
