Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
