): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
