You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
