ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
