dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
