I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
