I hope mine doesn't look like that
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
