i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
