These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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