32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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