I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
