like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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