ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
