That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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