Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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