Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
