tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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