Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
