Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
