your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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