As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My life is pants optional.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
