he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
