OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
