Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We got so high we made milksteak
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
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