i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
