you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
