i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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