Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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