I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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