youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
