Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize