Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
