wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
