I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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