What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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