Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
