So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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