Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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