I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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