So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize