OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
