Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
