I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
