Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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