it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
