How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
