My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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