He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
