OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
