Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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