Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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