I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
