you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
