Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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