Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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