He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I FOUND THE LEGS
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize