**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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