Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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